James by Percival Everett – a Book Review

I hope you came here for unpopular opinions, because I’m about to throw one at you. I’m not a big Mark Twain fan. I know, I know, but hear me out… It’s not his ideas. I love the concept of his books. He was ahead of his time, and I think satire is a very effective tool as a force for change. Humor has healing properties, and writers like Mark Twain were positively revolutionary in the world of literature. I value his books and his ideas very much. I just don’t care for his writing style and didn’t exactly enjoy reading his work. I’m sorry, Mark. Please don’t haunt me. Hannibal really isn’t that far from here.

With all that being said, I think that’s what I love so much about this particular novel. Let’s face it. We all know Jim, the escaped slave who accompanies Huck on his journey, is truly the more compelling character. Mark Twain couldn’t really write THAT particular book at the time as it wouldn’t have been as well received by the target audience, but he still presented the character of the honorable and intelligent black man who could actually forge a deep connection with a white boy in such a way that made people question their own preconceived notions and prejudices. And the original really is about Huck’s coming of age to realize the prejudices of his ancestors don’t have to define his own truth or the truth of future generations. Friendship is friendship regardless of race, age, or class. A trusted friend is a treasure, and there’s nothing wrong with doing something your elders tell you is wrong if it’s for the right purpose, especially if it’s to protect someone who needs protection. Wisdom is knowing that the old people who tell you what to do can be stupid, too. That’s a valuable narrative, and I in no way mean to de-value it by showing a preference for this new adaptation. In fact, were I to teach an American Literature course, I’d be teaching these two in tandem because the two different perspectives help the story come full circle.

Percival Everett, in his rewrite of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, presents the side of the story Twain didn’t put to paper. It’s the intimate account from Jim’s point of view, including all those times in which Jim is separated from Huck and we don’t get his experiences in the original text. What Everett gives us is a sometimes humorous, always harrowing, and often tragic view into the innermost soul of James. In his novel, James is a highly intelligent self-educated man who strategically wields his ability to play the part of the “dumb slave” for the mere purpose of survival. While covertly teaching the younger generation to read, write, and think critically, he also teaches them how to fly under the radar and tow the line so as to best protect themselves from harm as they navigate the dangerous world of the “peculiar institution” that is slavery. In this way, Jim and James almost become two different people. As the novel progresses, we see James more forcefully embracing his true identity while leaving Jim as a remembrance of a past to which he will not return. In that respect, this story is as much his coming of age as it is Huck’s.

Everett’s writing is stunning, and the moments he crafts are poignant and profound. During one particular confrontation between James and his prior abuser, I found it so damn satisfying and perfect I wanted to engage in a full-blown fist-pumping couch-jumping session of gleeful abandon. I refrained and settled for quiet glee, but it was difficult to control myself.

Like any great novel involving such an ugly time in history, much of this is difficult to stomach. It will make you angry, make you cry, and make you want to rage at the casual callousness and cruelty that infects the entirety of human history, including the history currently being written. The current cancer of human intellect is deflection and denial, a willful ignorance of the past that doesn’t allow for the prospect of remorse. How could history not repeat itself if half of us choose to deny the mere existence of the past? It makes things so much more difficult for those of us who actually want to believe in the capacity for human growth and enlightenment. Pardon me while I take a break to go scream into the void.

Ok, that’s better.

Truly, however, this novel is a marvel. It’s no surprise that it was shortlisted for the Booker Prize. Not having yet read the actual winner, I won’t make the claim that James should have won, but I would say it’s definitely worthy of any and all accolades. I also highly recommend the audio as narrated by Dominic Hoffman. Looking through his catalog of other narrations, I see he also narrated Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi, which is one of the most stunningly beautiful books I’ve ever read. I’m sure he did it justice though I didn’t originally read in that format. Along all fronts, this one is a five-star read.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Published March 19, 2024 by Random House Audio. ISBN 0385550367. Runtime 7 hrs 49 mins. Narrated by Dominic Hoffman.

Posted in General fiction, Historical Fiction, Literary Fiction, own voices, Reimagined Classic | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Funny Story by Emily Henry – a Book Review

Yes, this will be an actual book review. While my last two reviews were stark reminders of how truly FORKED the United States is, this book is like basking in the warmth of the sun on a sandy beach with a margarita in hand and no worries in your head. In case you are in need of a respite from the perils of the world, look no further than this charming contemporary romance.

Synopsis

Daphne and her fiance, Peter, have the perfect meet cute, a story Peter loves to tell any chance he gets. It would be straight off the screen of a blockbuster romcom if not for one inconvenient detail. With their wedding just around the corner, Peter leaves Daphne for his childhood best friend, Petra. Daphne, having dropped everything to move across country with Peter finds herself without support or even a place to live when she’s ejected from their communal home that Petra will be moving into in her place. The solution? She turns to the one person who can also share in her pain and who now just might need a roommate. The ex of her ex-fiancé’s new fiancé. While they are polar opposites, buttoned-up Daphne and pot-smoking croc-wearing Max form a kind of unique friendship based upon their common desire to irritate the hell out of their exes with their new fake relationship. As they fall further into the lie and Daphne sets plans in motion for the return to her hometown, their shenanigans just might bring them more trouble than they anticipated. And Daphne might come to see she has a few reasons to stay, after all.

Review

You have probably heard me say before that I’m not a big fan of romance. Well, that’s not completely true. I actually love quirky contemporary romances with heroines that don’t seem to be cut out of a magazine and leading men who don’t spend the whole book shirtless with a smoldering smirk. If that is your thing, you go, girl (or guy). I’ll take the book with the awkward librarian who has difficulty connecting with her peers and the scruffy dude in crocs with an affinity for Bridget Jones and farmers’ markets. It’s all in the little details that make characters enjoyable and relatable. Henry really excels at those fine-tuned details in this novel. Her writing is competent, witty, and smart. It’s not just about Daphne’s love story, but it’s Daphne’s human story. It’s her growth as a woman, a friend, and a lover. It’s the way Max opens her up to aspects of the world she’s never let in before and the way she’s willing to make a life of her own, not one that’s built around someone else.

I think that’s often what bothers me about a lot of romance novels. A woman’s worth is not wrapped up in who she is in relation to men. Maybe, like Daphne, she has always viewed herself as important only because she’s in a relationship, but a truly good book will be about her coming of age. It will about her realizing her own worth. I’d much rather see her grow to love herself before focusing on her love for someone else. Only then can she find a partner who values her for the right reasons. It’s certainly not about sex, though a little of that spice is welcome if it’s done well. In this case, I think Henry captured the spice quite well.

Over all, I thought this was a very solid and satisfying contemporary romance that checks all the boxes. It’s sweet, authentic, and highly relatable with an understated spiciness.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Published April 23, 2024 by Penguin Audio. ASIN B0CCPPQ38D. Runtime 11 hrs. 23 mins. Narrated by Julia Whelan.

Posted in Chick Lit, General fiction, humor, Romance, Uncategorized, Women's fiction | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments

Somewhere Beyond the Sea (The Cerulean Chronicles Book #2) by T.J. Klune – a Book Review (and more random thoughts for society)

This is the second book that it makes me sad to read in the era of Donald Trump’s second reign of terror. But… this time, I’m going to take a different tone. Less “burn it to the ground” and more “let’s start rebuilding.” I’ve spent the last 24 hours reflecting on this book. I loved The House on the Cerulean Sea. This whole series is full of wonderful and quirky characters who I desperately wish I could know in real life. It’s a celebration of the weird and wonderful, and it’s a call for unity in the face of division. Honestly, as a review portion I’m just going to say I adore this book, the follow-up to House on the Cerulean Sea. Everything, just everything, is sweet, profound, beautiful, heartwarming, and perfect. I can not pick a favorite character, especially amongst the children because they are amazing. And Daniel Henning, the narrator, I’m speechless. Give the man an award. Give him ALL the money. There you go, there’s your review. Now the rest is going to be another one of my essays because I’ve got a lot of things to say lately.

I don’t like spoilers, but I need to talk about one specific scene in this novel, because it’s important and it’s timely. Arthur, a character who I adore more than I ever thought I could adore a character, finds himself, usually the optimist, filled with despair and finally giving up hope. No matter how hard he’s tried, his efforts to protect his children have failed. He’s spent his life teaching his children to love, to accept others with grace and understanding, to forgive ignorance and prejudice, and to allow others to realize the depths of their wrongs in time. Love always wins. People can change. But they aren’t changing, and he wearies of trying and waiting. As a phoenix, Arthur finally allows himself to lose control. In his rage and sadness, he burns. He unleashes the fire that has seethed within him for decades. The fire of his trauma as an abused child, the fire of his hurt and anger for his children who society continues to condemn and reject, and the fire of a man who was born different only to be viewed with fear rather than an appreciation for his beautiful and unique qualities. Are some of you thinking you can totally empathize with this lately? Have you felt the same way when you look at the state of world and wonder just how so many people could be so cold and unfeeling?

It is at this lowest point when his anger threatens to burn away the last good shred he has within him that his own goodness, his own lost hope, is brought back to him by one of his precious children. They still see that the fight is worthwhile, and that’s because he believed in them. It’s not over. One person can not bring color back to the black hearts of a million people. But sometimes one is enough. One touch, one kind word, one assurance that things will be ok is enough. Every time I open social media, I see hate. I see gleeful gloating goons reveling at the pain, sorrow and fear they are able to inspire in their fellow humans. But when I push those aside I also see reasons to hope. I see people processing their own pain with wit, humor, and encouragement for their fellow humans. They both can have power but only if we let them have power. It’s up to us to channel our attention back toward hope, optimism, and a sense of growth. Protect those you love who are in those groups most vulnerable to harm at the moment. Check in on them. But do not let them or yourself give up hope.

Now, I’m going address something a bit inconvenient, and it might piss some of my fellow liberals off. I know this book is a bit controversial. The reason, however, I feel it is controversial is that the left has this rather nasty habit of looking for something to complain about. For that reason, I’m not even going to address the controversy because that would give it power. Seriously, have we lost the ability to approach our fellow humans with empathy and grace? So many people these days overlook the beauty of a work of art based on who wrote it and whether or not they have “the right” to tell that particular story. Do you know what this does? It negates the message. It encourages more hate and division WHEN THAT’S LITERALLY THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS STORY. It is about setting aside hate and prejudice in order to forge a better and more accepting future. As people, we only stop growing when we die, so we have to give our fellow humans the ability to grow by forgiving past mistakes and setting aside the concept of revenge. Stop looking for reasons to hate things because the rest of the world is so full of hate that it’s made you bitter. Take a page from Arthur’s book and reach out when a helping hand is given and listen to what they have to say. Don’t extinguish the fire, but direct the flame in a direction that’s productive rather than destructive.

In the face of so many people who want to be our enemies, we can’t shut out those who want to be friends because they take an approach we wouldn’t take ourselves. You may be woke, but if you woke up cranky you won’t change any minds or hearts. You only make enemies of your friends and give the real enemies more traction. Truly, I hate the word enemies, because I don’t think it applies to people who are merely ignorant. They truly can still grow if given the appropriate information to process. If we want to be true champions of diversity and inclusion, we have to also champion ideas. Bring back civil discourse. Criticize a work without negating its purest essence. If we can’t do that, we are no better than those on the other side who are burning books.

Love each other. Listen. Heal your own heart and then heal the world.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Published September 10, 2024 by Macmillan Audio. ISBN 9781035009411. Runtime 15hrs 48 mins. Narrated by Daniel Henning (seriously… this man… *chef’s kiss*)

Posted in Coming of Age, Fantasy, General fiction, humor, Uncategorized, Young Adult Fiction | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

The Book of Thorns by Hester Fox – a Book Review (Sort of)

It makes me tremendously sad to review this book at the moment. Here we have yet another incredible work of literature that celebrates those women throughout history who toiled and fought for the respect they should be given only to be time and time again weighed down by the prejudices of men. And I’m reviewing it at a time in which more than half of my countrymen and women have once again turned our country over to the hands of a cruel, sexist, racist imbecile who only emboldens those with old antiquated ideas of women’s subservience to men. As we speak there’s some ignorant sociopath making jokes about ownership of women’s bodies based solely on the presence of the tiny penis in his trousers. Who am I kidding? There are millions of these ignorant trolls and they feel validated, vindicated, and invincible. Out of the shadows they slink to stand in the light as they once did and they laugh at those who fear for the future of their civil liberties and sense of safety.

Truly, the past week I’ve simply been numb and haven’t been able to get myself to do anything, but I’m rising above that. Because those lowlifes want me to sit down and shut up, and I’m not ok with that. I will not allow the bottom feeders of society who lack any shred of empathy or integrity to intimidate me into silence no matter how loud they squawk into the void.

So let’s talk about witchcraft then, shall we? Afterall, what must we make of women who are strong, courageous, intelligent, and capable? They must be witches, right? This book is a celebration of the perseverance of womanhood, the powerful bond of sisterhood, and the reasons to hope for a better tomorrow. Both Cornelia and Lijsbeth, the two heroines of this novel, are well drawn and beautiful examples for young girls. Lijsbeth, especially, endures the kind of indignities that no woman should ever have to bear, but she does so with a fortitude no 21st century incel could ever come close to mustering. In her muteness, she suffers in silence but she does not suffer alone. Most importantly, she does not allow herself to be broken. Hers and Cornelia’s stories are beautiful, and they show us how we are so much stronger when united. There’s beauty in despair, and the battles worth fighting are never easy.

So how do we do fight against this new era of the emboldened misogynist? First of all, don’t stop reading. Pick up a book by a person of color. Pick up a book by a nasty woman who takes no shit. Start with this one. Don’t stop asking questions. A quiet and understated refusal to bend is so much more powerful than a loud and aggressive order to break. More than anything, keep teaching your children the true difference between right and wrong. Keep teaching them that respect is important, that it is earned and not demanded, and kindness always wins. One day, maybe, it will be true.

And, certainly, don’t be afraid to channel your inner witch.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Published April 2, 2024 by Graydon House. ISBN 9781525812019. Paperback. 320 pages.

Posted in Fantasy, General fiction, Historical Fiction, magical realism, Women's fiction | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Sleeping Giants by Rene Denfeld – a Book Review

Real life has been a little daunting lately. As such, I have done quite a bit of reading but very little reviewing. I just can’t get my mind back in the game for some reason. I fear with how the next few months will go that will get much worse, but I’ll do my best. I am determined to finish my reading challenge, so I’m going to try my best for that final push. With so many reviews on deck, I’ve found myself having to think back very hard about some reads to remind myself of what they were even about. Sadly, some books just don’t leave an impression and thoughts get muddled afterward. This one, however, is not one of those books.

Synopsis

Twenty years ago, a troubled boy from a local orphanage is swept away by the unforgiving arms of the vicious sea off the Oregon coast. Most people forgot about Dennis, but everyone will remember him when a young woman claiming to be the lost boy’s sister turns up out of the blue looking for information. Amanda Dufresne, always having felt like an outsider unable to connect with anyone, seeks the answers that tell her who she is and why she is so different. With the help of her new friend, retired police officer and recently widowed Larry Palmer, a new resident to the sleepy town, Amanda will wake the sleeping giants of the past which might just unearth more secrets than Amanda had anticipated.

Review

If I were to write a book, I would hope it would turn out like this. It has this effortlessly beautiful ambience that has just the right amount of darkness. Every character oozes a complexity that muddies the reader’s perspective. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a clear sense of right and wrong. It just says so much about how one person’s repressed pain can be wielded like a weapon. It’s about how we can hurt each other and how those lasting reverberations affect those who come in our wake. Thematically this is so tragic but so profound. It’s a difficult read, as so much of it revolves around abuse and neglect as well as loss. Amanda is such a refreshingly unique main character, a bit strange and awkward but so relatable on a human level. Each character, including those just supporting the narrative, is finely tuned with intricate imperfections. I could really feel the spirit of the town and the people in it, complete with its sadness and repressed memories.

It’s not a long book. It’s well paced and competently crafted, neither lagging nor rushing the conclusion. Denfeld is a true wordsmith. Her language is lyrical without being pretentious, and it mirrors and accentuates the dark undertones of the setting. Honestly, there’s just so much I could say about this book. I found the big reveal to be a bit predictable, but it really didn’t bother me. I enjoyed the journey of walking with Amanda as she sought to find herself and to help another (a non-human other) find herself as well. Vague, I know, but it’s just one you have to experience for yourself. It’s a lovely, amazing book.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Published March 26, 2024 by Harper. ISBN 9780063014732. Hardcover. 293 pages.

Posted in Coming of Age, General fiction, Literary Fiction, mystery, thriller, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

WWW Wednesday – October 2, 2024

I haven’t done a great job at keeping up with my weekly WWW meme, so I’ll remedy that this week. WWW Wednesday is a weekly series where bloggers share their reading progress for the week by answering 3 questions. It’s hosted by Sam at Taking On a World of Words.

The three questions are:

  • What are you currently reading?
  • What have you just finished reading?
  • What will you read next?

What am I currently reading?

I am currently reading two novels. The first is Love and Fury by Samantha Silva. This is a novel about the birth of Mary Shelley and the very brief amount of time she had with her mother before the elder’s passing. Literally, it begins with the midwife showing up at the door of a currently-in-labor Mary Wollstonecraft as she’s about to welcome her second daughter into the world. I’ve barely scratched the surface so far but I’m looking forward to the experience of reading this one.

The second book that I’m listening to is Funny Story by Emily Henry. So far this is a delightful and lovely novel with a quirky main character and a very charming leading man. I’m highly enjoying it and will be sad when it’s over. It’s narrated by Julia Whelan. who just might be the queen of audiobook narration.

What have I just finished reading?

I just finished reading the novel, Clear, by Carys Davies. I’m a bit behind on reviews and it may take me a bit to get to this one. Stay Tuned.

On audio, I can’t wait to review Somewhere Beyond the Sea by T.J. Klune. I was really anticipating this sequel to House on the Cerulean Sea, and it did not disappoint. I’m not sure a review could include all the things I loved about it, but I’ll do my best.

What will I read next?

First of all, I want to pick up a copy of our next Read Between the Wines book club selection, The Giver of Stars by Jojo Moyes. I have read some of Moyes’ other work and enjoyed them, so I’m looking forward to picking this one up.

I really haven’t decided on an audiobook just yet. I figure I’ll let my mood navigate me at the time and choose on a whim. Realistically, it’s getting late in the year and I’m really going to have to buckle down in finding the final reading challenge selections. Eek!

Until next time, happy reading!

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House of Doors by Tan Twan Eng – a Book Review

W. Somerset Maugham is one of those writers who has always held a place on my to-read list but I have just never gotten around to reading him. That’s a real pity, because I feel that familiarity with his work would have been quite helpful in the reading of this novel. In part, it is an imagining of the people and historical events to which he was exposed on his trip to Malaysia in the 1920’s that inspired him to write his collection of stories, The Casaurina Tree. Maugham was apparently prone to using the lives of real people he encountered in his stories, something that prompts the husband of our leading lady, Lesley Hamlyn, to warn her not to share too much information with “Willie.”

I’m getting way ahead of myself, so let me back up a bit. The bulk of the drama in House of Doors, takes place in Penang in 1921 at Cassowary House, the home of Mr. Robert Hamlyn and his wife, Lesley. Somerset Maugham, who Robert and Lesley affectionately call Willie, has come to stay with his old school friend and his wife in the company of his secretary/lover, Gerald. Readers should keep in mind that this is far from an accurate historical account of Maugham’s life. Lesley and Robert, for instance, are fictional people borrowed from Maugham’s story, The Letter, which told a story inspired by the real-life murder trial of Ethel Proudlock in 1911. Eng keeps the fictional Ethel as Ethel which Maugham had changed to LeslIE, but now Ethel is best friends with LeslEY who tells the story of the murder and subsequent trial to Willie. Follow me so far? Probably not, and that’s totally ok. I kind of view this song and dance as Eng’s paying homage to Maugham while at the same time poking fun at his super half-hearted attempt at ensuring those who inspired his stories remain “anonymous.”

As readers, we get two perspectives: the first person narrative by Lesley and a third person narrative following Willie. In this respect, we get to be somewhat of a fly on the wall to Maugham but we also get first-hand perceptions of the writer from those close to him. We are introduced to him at a time in which he faces dire financial troubles due to a bad investment and his marriage to his wife, Syrie, is in shambles. He spends most of his time traveling since his lover, Gerald, has been banned from their home country due to a “homosexual incident” in 1915. He desperately needs something to publish so that he may escape utter financial ruin, which he fears would drive away Gerald, a young man accustomed to being pampered by his wealthy benefactor.

As Willie and Lesley bond, she opens up to him about the secrets of the past and the secrets of her own marriage. Through their shared histories, we explore themes of love, devotion, race, gender, sexuality, and of course all of these intense sociopolitical events that shaped modern China and the British-occupied Malay peninsula in the early 20th century. Penang, as it were, was a major center for trade during this period bringing a large and diverse population. This population included a large number of Chinese-born immigrants, and the novel includes a fictionalized version of the Chinese revolutionary Sun Yat-sen on his visit to Penang as he sought to drum up support for his cause. Lesley narrates to Willie her dealings with Sun Yat-sen and her growing interest in the plight of China. All of this helps us to understand Lesley’s transition into a stronger and more complex woman of the world. I greatly admired the way her story unfolded and had a completely different idea of who she was from the first chapter to the last.

This novel is a deeply complicated undertaking that succeeds because it was put to page by the competent hands of someone as skilled as Tan Twan Eng, and it’s no surprise it was longlisted for the Booker Prize in 2023. While I wouldn’t call it masterful, it’s still a highly compelling narrative with a lot of depth of character. I definitely recommend it, especially for fans of historical fiction looking for a work that explores settings often neglected in the literary realm. It also poses a lot of challenges to our preconceived societal notions of morality, which I can definitely appreciate.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Published October 17, 2023 by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc. ISBN 9781639731930. Runtime 11 hrs 15 mins. Narrated by David Oakes and Louise-Mai Newberry.

Posted in General fiction, Historical Fiction, Literary Fiction, Uncategorized, Women's fiction | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Garden by Clare Beams – a Book Review

It’s 1948, and Irene Willard finds herself left at the doors of an old mansion-turned hospital. All women at this hospital, like her, have only ever experienced the heartbreak of lost pregnancy and are desperate to deliver to their husbands that gift of a child. Under the care of an enigmatic husband and wife duo of doctors, the women undergo experimental treatments that promise to bring their pregnancies to term. As Irene’s pregnancy progresses, strange things begin happening at the hospital. She will find herself doubting both her own sanity and everything she’s been promised by the doctors.

First of all, this book is not for everyone. It has a sleepy, ethereal style of prose. Irene is a frustrating main character, at first acerbic and cold. As we peel away her layers, it’s easier to see the depth of her discomfort with her given lot in life and the situation in which she finds herself. There are some compelling supernatural elements that contribute to Irene’s spiraling psychological state, or so it would seem at first. I feel like the build-up of the creep factor had promise. The setting helped usher this along. The symbolism of the unkempt garden as giver-of-life or bringer-of-death was certainly not lost on me. Though the uterus-shaped flower on the cover is a not-so-subtle clue of this as well.

What I appreciated most about this was the undercurrent of feminism and the psychology behind a woman’s worth being completely tied up in her ability to bear children. It’s 2024 and we still find ourselves in a time in which the powers at be wish to control what happens within a woman’s uterus. In that respect, this is a very timely book.

Unfortunately, I don’t feel that the end of this book did justice to the intended message. It’s hard to explain why I felt that way without giving too much away, but it would certainly be an interesting topic of discussion for book clubs. Novels like this are always up to reader interpretation, so it’s quite possible a different reader would take a completely different view. Thematically, this book is rich with symbolism, and it inspires a real feeling of dread throughout. Beams did a great job of making the house and garden a living, breathing character complete with a cancerous history that haunts the halls. It’s really quite a beautiful concept in hindsight, but I can’t say that reading this novel was explicitly enjoyable.

Overall, I really appreciate what this novel has to offer, but I don’t see it being on my list for a re-read.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Published April 9, 2024 by Doubleday. ISBN 9780385548182. Hardcover. 304 pages.

Posted in General fiction, Gothic, Historical Fiction, Horror, Literary Fiction, magical realism, Psychological thriller, Women's fiction | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Opt-Out Family: How to Give Your Kids What Technology Can’t by Erin Loechner – a Book Review

Are you one of those parents who has lots of anxiety over the effect technology is having on our kiddos, especially their obsessive need to have faces buried in tablets? Would you like even more stress and anxiety mixed with guilt over what you’ve allowed to happen? Then read this book. Ok, I’m sort of joking about that. I actually think this book presents some amazing points and amazing ideas for breaking the hold technology has on our kids, though I did have some issues with it. That being said, I want to make it clear that my response to this book is solely my opinion on the issue. I don’t wish to imply any one philosophy or style is correct or incorrect. We are all doing our best. Let’s get into it, shall we?

Erin Loechner was a pioneer on the world wide web. Along with a handful of others, she paved the way for tech-savvy people to build websites, create blogs, and share ideas. All those “influencers” today who broadcast every single detail of their daily lives for clicks, those parents whose children are growing up on the other side of a camera so strangers can oooh and ahhh about how cute they are while simultaneously putting money in mommy and daddy’s pockets, can thank people like Loechner for building the foundation that made that a reality. Loechner, however, saw the writing on the wall and walked away from it all. Now it saddens her to see a child sitting on the playground equipment outside staring at a phone instead of actually playing, never once looking up or out at the wide world around them. Yeah, that’s tragic. We made that. What do we do about it?

Loechner, in her book The Opt-Out Family presents a different all-encompassing approach to parenting a child in today’s world. Using the playbook from big tech giants who created this whole mess by designing algorithms for the purpose of creating a bunch of tech-addicted zombies, she turns the tables and shows parents how we can use those same methods for actually engaging with our children and bringing the family back to real life instead of online life. Yes, this is necessary. This is something all families should be trying to do. The book is simple, clear, sometimes a bit repetitive, but it’s never really boring.

So what did I not like about it? Because, I have to say, I felt sort of uncomfortable the whole way through and at first couldn’t place why. Upon reflection, it’s just not achievable. Loechner takes an all or nothing approach. Say NO to every type of technology. Get rid of the tablets. Don’t ever give your children phones. Cover up the tv and don’t use it. Contact your children’s schools and sports teams and tell them you need different modes of communication than apps and emails. Opt-out and opt-out all the way. Sure, that may sound great in theory, but that sounds like something most families would try for a day or two and just give up on, like a crash diet. Two days into munching on carrots with fat-free ranch dressing and cardboard-tasting wheat crackers you find yourself with your whole face plunged into a plate of spaghetti because it was just too much too fast. I will always believe there’s a happy medium that doesn’t equate to a recipe for failure.

Additionally, can we address the elephant in the room that is technology itself? It is here. It is not going anywhere unless the apocalypse happens and we all go back to foraging for food and fighting off bad guys with scary homemade weapons with oddly cutesy names. Our children need to at least understand it. In the future, a vast majority of jobs will be in tech fields. Little Susie may be able to name all the species of flower found at her local park, but if she can’t operate a simple digital device, she will have a major disadvantage amongst her peers who are all taking high-powered tech jobs because they kept up with the times.

I do think we can still inspire wonder in our kids outside of the digital worlds in which they seem to find their joy. I do see the harm that comes from too much device use, from rising levels of anxiety and depression to a less active and more sedentary lifestyle. More than taking away, we should focus on giving. Put down our own devices, look them in the eye, and connect. Make time for outings. Make time to talk, go on walks without distractions and show them what it looks like to be curious and engaged. I think of this the same way I think of censorship. If they will be exposed to it eventually, they should be shown how to navigate it in a healthy way by you and not the outside influences who don’t have their best interests at heart. You aren’t a gatekeeper keeping them isolated inside a bubble in hopes they won’t ever see or hear something you don’t like. You are a sounding board to be there when they see something or experience something that confuses them or makes them uncomfortable. Where does fear come from? More often than not, it’s bred from ignorance. This doesn’t include that natural instinct that tells us something is dangerous. Should you fear jumping off a cliff without a parachute? Yes, your body fears that for a reason. Should you fear a spider you found in the garden? No, probably not. And if you know how to identify spiders, you will know whether it’s a friend or a bitey one that will give an ouchie that rots your flesh. Either way, leave it alone and let it live its best life. Lack of ignorance of a subject has given you the ability to see something for the delicate and amazing creature that it is instead of some frightening “other.” And it probably saved a life.

Also, let’s think about this a little bit. Loechner has a pretty widespread online presence with a website, as well as a blog. All of which we all have to access from a digital device, which she is decrying in every post. Sure, I read her ideas in an old fashioned book, but these days you simply have to have an online presence to market yourself. I’m in no way disparaging Loechner for using technology to spread the word about her anti-technology theories. She really doesn’t have a choice. In today’s world, tech literacy is a must for everyone and I don’t think we can, in good conscience, deprive our children of that.

Basically, I think this is a valuable book if you don’t take things too seriously. It has some great ideas but it’s a little too ambitious in its approach. I will not be swiftly embracing the opt-out family status, but I have started already using some of the ideas presented by Loecher. And I’ve tried to be more cognizant of my own behavior in front of my children. Instead of sitting down and busying myself on my phone catching up on social media posts, blog stats, or those dreadfully addicting mobile games, I try to remind myself to put down my device, because it can all wait. My children, however, are aging by the minute and are modeling their behavior after me. The Opt-Out Family is a great reminder of all of that.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Published June 11, 2024 by Zondervan. ISBN 0310345693. Paperback. 320 pages.

Posted in Nonfiction, Parenting, self help, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

Those Empty Eyes by Charlie Donlea – a Book Review

As promised, here’s the second book of the Charlie Donlea journey I embarked upon recently. Of the two, I think this is the one I found the most compelling.

Synopsis

Book cover image for Those Empty Eyes by Charlie DonleaAlexandra Quinlan has gone to great lengths to separate herself from the night that changed her life forever, the night her entire family was massacred leaving her the only survivor and the initial prime suspect. Ten years after the murders and after increasingly tumultuous years in which she fought to clear her name and get justice for the mistreatment she received by both law enforcement and the media, she now does some investigative work for a law firm. She’s changed both her name and her look, no longer recognizable as “Empty Eyes,” the name given to her by the media on the night of her family’s murder. When a particularly disturbing investigation leads her to clues regarding her own family’s still-unsolved murder, Alex finds herself back in the past reliving that awful night and pulling her into a dangerous world of secrets for which she may not be prepared.

Review

Once again, Donlea fooled me. A little. He likes to do this thing where he dangles something super obvious in your face leaving you wondering if this is really supposed to be a mystery/thriller, and then he slaps you in the face with something unexpected in the absolute final scene. So, in a way you have the satisfaction of being right while also marveling at the twist. Well played, Donlea. This novel moves at just the right pace, and it’s wildly exciting in all the right places. I really liked Alex, and I felt like I really knew her. Knowing her backstory so thoroughly allows us to understand her motivations. The scene in the beginning in which Alex’s family is murdered is so vivid it feels real. It’s terrifying and visceral. The grandfather clock is an especially nice touch. As tough as this scene is to read, it also pulls you in and makes you need to know what happened.

Once again, I really thought fans of true crime got a bad rap, but in this case some of it made a lot more sense. The way the media forced the narrative of Alex’s story is all too real. There’s a reason the term “court of public opinion,” exists. People like to think they know it all when they’ve only seen a couple of news reports that were simply designed to scandalize the masses. It’s easy to forget real people are behind these stories splashed across our televisions.

Once again, the psychology of the killer is in the hot seat. I had some issues with the killer and their motivations vs. their subsequent actions, but I can’t exactly get into that without entering into major spoiler mode, and I refuse to do that. Great for conversation but not so much for a review, so I will leave it at that. Overall, an exciting and satisfying thriller.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Published March 28, 2023 by Kensington. ISBN 1496727177. Paperback. 432 pages.

Posted in General fiction, Legal Thriller, mystery, Psychological thriller, thriller, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 1 Comment