I have never been to one, but I know many people believe there’s nothing on this Earth more terrifying than an IKEA. They balk at the idea of entering the humongous chain store in which one could easily get lost, and they especially balk at taking home a jigsaw puzzle-esque project likely to push them over the edge into insanity. Grady Hendix knows this, and he is playing upon their fears in the most delightful way.

He introduces us to Orsk, a Scandinavian mega-giant chain store offering home and office furnishings for those who like difficult projects that wreak havoc on one’s mental health. Our lead character is Amy, the most unlikely of final girls, an employee who happens to hate her job and isn’t really very good at anything. Frankly, she doesn’t care enough to ever be good at anything, or that’s at least the vibe she gives off to the rest of the world. However, Amy needs money quite badly so she accepts an extra overnight shift from Basil, her excessively annoying manager, to stay at Orsk and try to catch whoever has been vandalizing the place at night. Together with Basil and a handful of other employees, Amy will figure out that the huge Scandinavian chain store is, in fact, trying to kill us all.

Honestly, the sheer premise of this book is delightful. The execution for it was decent. It is a little rushed. As a short volume, he could have even expanded on a little more and I would have been totally ok with it. I would like to get my hands on an actual copy, as I notice it’s crafted to look like a store catalog, and that’s pretty awesome. As I listened to it, I found Bronson Pinchot’s radio-announcer interludes advertising products that introduce each chapter to be positively fabulous, especially as they take on a creepy tone.

As seems to be in typical Grady Hendrix fashion, this book goes from tame standard mystery fare into vomit-inducing gross gory goop at the snap of your fingers. Truly, Grady Hendrix isn’t for the squeamish. Otherwise, it’s a good mix of moderate scares and humorous dialogue. Honestly, I found the history behind the supernatural aspect to be sad, made more horrifying by the fact I know it’s in some way based upon institutions guilty of similar atrocities than in any kind of supernatural horror aspect. I enjoyed Amy as a main character, especially for her unique leading lady quality and her ability to grow and rise to the occasion as the story progressed.

Overall, I liked it, but I think I will remember it mostly for its truly original concept versus the actual story, but it was a really good choice for a Halloween season read.

Published September 23, 2014 by Blackstone Publishing. ISBN 9781483049786. Narrated by Tai Sammons and Bronson Pinchot. Runtime 6 hrs, 16 mins.