I’m pretty much always behind the times, as evidenced by the fact that this memoir was a Goodreads Choice Award nominee for best memoir and biography back in 2018. I’m surprised I hadn’t read it yet, because I’ve adored Sally Field for about as long as I can remember. Even as a kid, I could feel how authentic and human she seemed, and I fully grasped her range and skill as an actor as I grew and watched more of her films. In this memoir, she briefly touches on her acting roles, but it’s much more about the relationships that shaped her as a woman, an actor, and a mother.

Her relationship with her own mother, the actress Margaret Field, is the most pivotal focus of the book. She beautifully shapes an image for us of her mother as a kind but complicated and imperfect woman. Their relationship was, at times, heartbreaking, but it was always beautiful and always stronger than any other force in Sally’s life. I absolutely cried at this one. Sally isn’t just a talented actress. She’s a fiercely honest and powerful writer. She didn’t shy away from exploring the most difficult moments in her life, including her mother’s marriage to Jock Mahoney, an actor best known for his various roles in popular westerns during the 50’s and 60’s. It was at the hands of Jocko that she would suffer her first experience with abuse from a man, but it certainly wasn’t the last.

She details the sexual exploitation she experienced as a young actress at the hands of producer Bob Rafelson. However, the most simultaneously infuriating and awe-inspiring part of the book surrounded Sally’s long-term relationship with the actor, Burt Reynolds. Burt was a narcissistic, controlling, and gaslighting asshole who did nothing but demean Sally’s career and her skill as an actor. The single-handed most pivotal decision Sally would make is to choose Norma Rae over Burt. This film would truly cement her place as a Hollywood icon and would bring on her first win for an Oscar for Best Actress. I still think, however, that her reclaiming her own story from an insidious misogynist was her crowning achievement. Had Burt had his way, Sally would have never recognized her own worth.

I’m not sure if it was a coincidence or a purposeful action that this memoir was released a mere two weeks after his death, but it’s probably a good thing he didn’t know this all got out. Oddly enough, however, though I haven’t read Burt’s own memoir from 2015, But Enough About Me, it would seem he throws shade at those who release false statements slandering someone’s character following their deaths, something he felt was done to Johnny Carson. Is that what happened here, or was Reynolds just pretty damn sure people had dirt on him and would do the same when he was gone? From perusing reviews of his memoir, it would seem he kind of glossed over his relationship with Field, saying it was the “biggest regret of his life” that they couldn’t make things work. I’d venture a guess that his regrets were that he treated her so poorly, but vulnerability and self awareness eluded him all the way up to his death.

Sally makes sure to give shout-outs to those in her career who were always fierce advocates, like Joanne Woodward during Sybil, and Daniel Day-Lewis during Lincoln. I think my all-time favorite scene in the book was where Sally recounted her first meeting with DDL, which was one of the most heart-warming and beautiful meet-cutes in world history, though they were only ever an on-screen couple. I’m glad to have confirmation that he’s not just an amazing actor, but an amazing human as well. He saw her light from afar before ever even meeting her. Burt Reynolds shared the same space with her for five years and tried to smother her light so it didn’t overtake his own. One of those is a real man and the other an overgrown child who lacks the emotional intelligence to face his own insecurities. I’ll let you figure out which is which.

In summary, this is a really special book about a powerful, badass woman who I admire even more today than I did previously. As far as celebrity memoirs go, this one is a gem.

Published September 18, 2018 by Hachette Audio. ISBN 9781538763025. Runtime 10 hrs, 41 mins. narrated by the Author.